(josephine) the car ride back home

11 février, fin de journée
with @Josephine Lewis
+ @Theodore Lewis
tw - décès, deuil

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Should've kept every grocery store receipt cause every scrap of you would be taken from me...  The day you left us I knew before they told me. It was a smell in air, a whisper on the street, an atmospherical shift I couldn't quite place.. then you were gone and it was clear to me that the world would never make sense again. Theo sits on the stairs leading to his house, watching cars pass by and thinks back to that entry he made in his journal a couple of days ago. The memories of his mother's last days had been so vivid while he was at the hospital these past few days that he had felt the need to draw and write again. Some words kept coming back his mind, last spoken promises of a dying woman holding the hand of her eldest child. He had no idea it would be the last time he'd see her. Running around the hospital, an intern in surgery, he thoughts he still had time with her.. still had a way to save her. And if I didn't know better I'd think you were singing to me now murmura something in his soul as he sees a specific car stop at the front of his house. Sitting inside he recognize the face of his sister and the hair colour he always loved on her because she looked so much like their mother in that moment. Josephine was his world in a way, after Amelia disappeared especially. She became a reason to stick around and be as strong as he could be. Something Theo sometimes doubted that he was actually able to be. Strong. As he tries to stand up with his crunches, he waves to the young woman, knowing this is his last chance to get a smile from her tonight. What he has to tell her today isn't going to make her feel the best and he aches at the idea that he will most likely break her heart tonight. What died didn't stay dead... what died didn't stay dead he repeats as she walks towards him, in a low voice. Where is that melody coming from ? He wonders but before he loses himself in questions and more faraway thoughts the tattoo artist smiles to his sister and says Never be so kind, you forget to be clever. Do you know where I've heard these words before ? It's been stuck in my head for a hot minute now... Hi number 2.

the car ride back home
11 février, fin de journée
with @Josephine Lewis
+ @Theodore Lewis
tw - décès, deuil

---

The beginning of the year had been quite challenging for Josephine ; she had to admit that even if she liked some adrenaline shoot from time to time, she probably had enough of it for the rest of the year. To think that her brother almost died in a motorbike accident... the mere idea of it made her sick. Fortunately, he was still here, with her. Her big brother had always been a huge part of her world, a part of her ; he was in all her best memories... and in some of the worst, too. But she didn't want to think about the hospital, the farewell, the cimetary, as she was driving to her brother's house. She parked in front of the house, tied up her hair, and got out of the car, a slight smile on her lips. It was good to see him outside of the hopsital ; she hated it there, and seeing Theo in that hospital bed had stir up hurtful memories. Everything was back as it was, now that her brother was at home again.

He was sitting on the outside stairs of his house when she saw him, at the moment she put a foot in the garden. She didn't wonder why is brother wasn't greeting her with the warmest of welcome ; Theo was Theo, she knew him well. Hi, number 1 ! She gave him a warm hug, trying to be careful as he had a leg in a plaster cast. How's my big favorite big brother doing ? You're gonna freeze to death if you stay outside like this ! Let go inside, shall we ? Little sister always worrying for her family, especially since their family was a broken one. She could hear her  mother's voice in the wind, sometimes, when it was dark, so deep in the night that the wind was thinking that no soul could hear what it had to say.

She walked through the door with him, the air was cold. They would definitely be more confortable inside. Theo didn't live in this house since long, but it was a charming place. Josephine felt good there, and, as far as she could tell, so did Theo. So, what do you want to do ? Did you just want to hang out with your cool little sister ? Is that a trap, do you want me to help you with anything ?

11 février, fin de journée
with @Josephine Lewis
+ @Theodore Lewis
tw - décès, deuil

---

Waiting for Joséphine a little before she came was no hassle as the weather wasn't too bad that day. As the song kept creeping in his mind, the tattooist wondered how he would tell her what was waiting on his heart. Ever since the news of his potential illness had struck him he was keeping the information for himself. Talking about it to Milo or Wendy was one thing but letting Jo or Ethan know was another thing. As the elder brother he often felt like he had failed them after the loss of their mother. To this day, 4 years into grief and pain, 4 years since she was gone, he still felt like he would never be the same without her. That life won't go back to normal, if it ever was. Desesperate people find faith, so since her diagnosis he'd pray to Jesus too and told her Soon you'll get better... but his prayers were never answered and he was scared his sister would end up in the same place as him. On her knees at night hoping for a better tomorrow. I'm good, and it's not that cold.. help me up. he took her hand and lifted himself up to give her a hug with a half-smile. Yeah let's go. Invite yourself in a dry but not mean laugh passed his lips as he followed her in his house. The place was clearly warmer than the porch but somehow he had felt the need to welcome her as she arrived. Now that she was here however he wasn't sure how to proceed kitchen ? i can make us some tea so we can chat and all he started to walk to the open kitchen and look for mugs, clearly stalling and trying not to start the very conversation he knew he had to urgent have with her. As he was looking for tea and cups he tried to breathe calmly and added I just wanted to talk to you that's all. I like having you around you know. It's not just because I'm your brother and stuff.